hidup

terkadang rasa seperti hidup ni memang untuk orang sekeliling gunakan.

tiada yang jujur dan ikhlas dalam berkawan.

aku bukanlah tuhan, aku bukanlah malaikat

dan aku bukanlah sempurna

tetapi terasa seperti semua mendekati hanya untuk mempergunakan aku.

pedih rasa hati.

Allah sahaja yang tau. 

:')

Thank you my dear friend for this precious word

A friend of mine once said to me when I'm face some test by Him..

I believe.

If Allah is all you have.

You have all you need.

and Allah heals everything.

Thank you my dear friend
Noor Syamimi Abdullah
:)

anonymous

Sometimes, 

I wish I was an anonymous.

Being transparent.

So that

nobody will get to know me,

nobody will get hurt because of me,

nobody will expect me for something.

I wish I have a guide book,

just to show me

what is the next step,

what should I do,

what is the best thing

I have to do

for every little thing. 

Amin

Ya Allah Ya Robb
Berilah pahala terhadap musibah
yang menimpa diriku ini
dan
Engkau gantikanlah ia
dengan kebaikan...

Amin.

:)

The past is behind,

learn from it.

The future is ahead,

prepare for it.

The present is here,

live it.

Sometimes, I wish things had turn out differently.. :)

smile like usual.

its ok. i'll hide the pain with a smile

like always. please don't worry :)

Ya Allah, Please forgive me..

Ya Allah, Ya Karim, 
Please have mercy on me. 


Ya Allah, Ya Karim,
Please forgive me for the sins I committed in the past,
And those I will commit in the future.


Ya Allah,
Have mercy on all the Muslimeen,
And guide them.
Guide me Ya Allah,
And guide my parents,
My siblings, my cousins,
My aunts and uncles,
My nephews and nieces and so forth.


Ya Allah,
I ask You to strengthen my iman and those around me.
I ask You to soften my heart
And to soften the hearts of the believers.


Ya Allah,
Forgive me for my shortcomings, for only You are perfect.


Ya Allah,
Please forgive me if I ever got too wrapped in a matter
That I didn't have time to utter Your name.


Ya Allah,
Please forgive me for all the solat I missed,
Because of ignorance or laziness.


Ya Allah,
Please forgive me,
For the pound I never dropped into the metal cup for the homeless man begging on the street.


Ya Allah,
Please spark the love of Islam in my heart and in the hearts of every single Muslim,
Until it gets implanted in their children and their children’s children and so on.


Ya Allah,
I ask that You help me for I am weak,
And will only grow stronger by Your strength.
So Allah please strengthen me
To fight shaitan and his whispers.
And if I ever fell into his trap
And followed my desirer,
Then sincerely forgive me,
For that displays not only my weakness,
But Your greatness as well.


Ya Allah,
Please lighten the punishment in the grave,
For those before us and those after us.
Please Allah, lighten the punishment
And please shed light into every Muslim’s grave.


Ya Allah,
If I ever was too afraid
To stand up for Your deen
Because of what others would think,
Then forgive me, for I was a fool for doing so.


Ya Allah,
Please protect me and each Muslim,
And protect especially the orphans and the widows.


Ya Allah,
Please strengthen the faith
Of the destitute Muslims around the world,
So they have hope to live.


Ya Allah,
If I ever forgot to do doa for even one suffering Muslim,
Then forgive me for then it is, as I haven’t done doa for the entire ummah.


Ya Allah,
Please be the light of my eyes, ears and heart.


Ya Allah,
Please be the light on the sides of me,
And the light behind me,
And the light in front of me.


Ya Allah,
Please forgive me
For all the foul words I spoke
Either out of ignorance or
Because I was trying to be “cool”.


Ya Allah,
Please forgive me,
If I never stopped to think about You,
Due to “other important things”.


Ya Allah,
Please forgive me,
For not having enough time,
Or creating time for reading the Quran.


Ya Allah,
Please forgive me,
For listening to music,
And watching movies and t.v.


Ya Allah,
Please forgive me,
For all the yelling I’ve done
And the arguments I’ve been in.
For the only time
The voice should be raised
Is for Your praises!


Ya Allah,
Please forgive me
For my disrespect towards my family,
Elders, siblings and so on.


Ya Allah,
Please forgive me for any back-biting I have been accused of,
Whether I did it consciously or unconsciously.


Ya Allah, Ya Rab al-Alamin,
Forgive me,
Forgive me for everything.
So for everyone,
Every single Muslim,
Dead or alive,
I do doa that You forgive them for all their sins.


Ya Allah,
Please please please
Help the suffering Muslims 
everywhere around the world.


Ya Allah,
Please help us all and guide us,
For You are everything to us.


Ya Allah,
I cannot stress how much I ask for Your forgiveness and Your guidance.


Ya Allah,
I fear You,
I fear You soooo much words cannot describe.
I fear the day when I will meet You,
And I WILL meet You.
When we are one on one,
And I have no one’s help or support.
No one can take the blame for me
Nor I for them.
The only thing I will have
Is a little book given to me by You
That has my deeds.


Ya Allah,
Please forgive me for my thoughts,
For even though I get sinned for my actions,
I cannot help but feel guilty for my thought
And I ask You to forgive me for them
And to clear my mind of any impurities
Until You become the only thing on my mind.


Ya Allah,
Please forgive me
If I ever did anything out of gain
For this life and not for Your pleasure.
If I did anything to “show off”
Then please forgive me for that.


Ya Allah,
I do doa that You grant us all God-fearing spouses
And grant us righteous children.


Ya Allah,
I do doa that You continue to strengthen this ummah until the Day of Resurrection.


Ya Allah,
Forgive me for whatever I have not mentioned,
For I am bound to forget
…but You,
through Your greatness…
You never forget.


Ya Allah,
Please grant all the Muslims Jannah-tul-Firdaus.


Ya Allah,
I ask that You shed Your mercy
On all the Prophets (peace be upon them)
And on all the Angels (peace be upon them).
Lastly, I do doa
You shed Your mercy
On the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him),
His family and companions.
I do doa that You grant Muhammad
The highest station in paradise.


Ya Allah,
Please forgive me.


Ameen

ujian.

penulisan kali ni maybe agak berbeza berbanding entry2 sebelum2 ni. bahasa yang agak rojak, singkatan yang terlebih, dan juga tatabahasa yang fail. 


jujur aku bercakap, tahun ni tahun yang menguji aku dari segi emosi, fizikal, rohani. aku bukanlah orang yang straightforward bercakap akan permasalahan yang aku hadap. tapi entry ni hanya ditulis untuk melepaskan sedikit apa yang aku pendam. agar terluah, agar terlepas sedikit bebanan yang ditanggung. biarlah apa yang orang nak kata, aku dan hanya orang2 tertentu tahu ape yang aku hadap. 


mungkin sesetengah orang fikir aku ni seorg yang lemah, x mampu tuk hadap masalah. :) terima kasih. mungkin betul. tapi aku bukanlah seorang yang luahkan ape yang aku hadap, ape yang aku alami, ape yang aku lawan. hanya kawan yang mendengar tahu. dan hanya kawan yang mendengar terkejut akan apa yang aku hadap, terkejut dengan apa yang aku lawan dalam diri aku selama ni, dan terkejut tuk berapa lama masa yang aku ambil tuk lawan benda ni sampai tahap yang aku sendiri x mampu lagi nak lawan. banjir jugak akhirnye. jujur aku x suka keadaan aku sekarang. 


fikir aku, sejujurnye aku kurang, bukan, bukan kurang, aku x selesa dengan diri aku sekarang. sangat x selesa dengan apa yang aku hadap. ini bukan diri aku yang dulu. hilang semangat entah kemana. susah mengingat. rasa bersendiri yang kuat. lebih banyak berdiam diri. lebih banyak masa berseorang. lebih selesa berseorang. hilang kemana ntah perasaan2 aku yang sebelum ni. perasaan seram, gembira, gugup, perasaan yang sepatutnye ada tuk berhadapan dengan situasi2 tertentu. 


ramai yang menegur. "ko kenape slalu pucat? kenape macam sakit? kau ok? ko macam ada masalah je" senyum je mampu bagi. aku pendam ape yang aku rasa, ape yang aku lawan, masalah aku even dengan family sendiri aku x bercerita sampai la tahap yang aku x mampu nak lawan macam sekarang. solat rasa berat, mengaji rasa berat. hmm aku anggap ini ujian tuk diri aku. bertahan selagi yang termampu. diri aku sedang binasa. jujur, sakit sekali. ini yang aku rasa tuk masa sekarang. dan aku harapkan aku tabah tuk hadap hari2 yang mendatang. 

tanpa tajuk

maaf kalian,

aku tak pernah rasa letih macam ni. 

ini bukanlah keluhan,

bukanlah rungutan juga.

cuma untuk sekadar peringatan,

pada semua

dan diri sendiri.

p/s: kuku pun da tukar kaler ungu..

Bila Waktu Telah Berakhir

how do you feel proud of the world

which is temporary

what if all is lost and gone leaving you

what if the time stopped

and you do not realize

is there a way for you to return to repeat the past

the world is filled with ornaments

anything and everything imaginable will return to Him

when the time has called the true friend is only charity

when the time has stopped True friend left is only silence